February 2010
53 posts
the start of the rest of my life
I’m skyping with Eliza right now so it’s kind of hard to type, but I wanted to post one last entry before saying goodbye for Lent.
These 40 days will hopefully help me move on
You still mean a lot to me, but I have to move on
it’s for my own good and hopefully someday soon I will find someone perfect for me
"it's a party in the USA"
me in a nutshell:
Today, I was listening to my roommate talk to her boyfriend on skype. Thinking I was asleep, she started dancing and singing Miley Cyrus songs for her boyfriend. I have it on video. MLIA
I’m the roommate singing and dancing to the Miley Cyrus songs of course
hahahaha
I couldn’t help myself
I just HAD to “like” your most recent post on facebook:
“My magic 8 ball needs to make up its fuckin’ mind.”
because alllll last freeking summer and even before summer you would ask your magic 8 ball what you should do about us
and it ALWAYS said that you should kiss me or whatever else the heck you asked it
the thing is, the magic 8...
"what hurts the most, was being so close, and...
Last night I had a dream about you
and in it you wouldn’t even talk to me
it’s sad that you are becoming yet another name on the list of friends who have abandoned me
every time a friend ends a friendship it hurts, but this one hurts the most by far
I miss you even though you couldn’t care less
"Let it snow, let is snow, let it snow!"
oh my goodness! it is snowing in Savannah, GA!!!
and it’s so pretty! It NEVER snows here
the last time I remember it snowing here was in 7th grade during history class
I’m exhausted from yesterday’s adventure, but I’m staying up to see the snow, hopefully some of it sticks
"according to him..."
Without going into too much detail tonight was an interesting night
It was a college experience, or at least what I would consider a college experience
and now it’s 5:20 am and I have to be up at 10:30 to register for classes… yay…
but as I lay here on my bed
and as I was watching Valentines Day tonight
and as my roommates and I were listening to the radio in the car
and...
you are online, but you aren’t talking to me
what else is new?
I think in this next month I might just be able to move on with my life…
maybe…
“Any man can love a million girls.
But it takes a real man one to love one girl...”
– Nick Jonas. (Submitted by nataliatf ) (via quote-book)
“sometimes goodbye is a second chance”
– Shinedown
Lent
For Lent I have decided to take on something bigger than I have ever taken on before. I’m going to try and get over him… because I’m deluding myself in thinking that I have been trying to get over him at all. On the contrary, I have been holding on tighter than ever.
In order to do that I’m giving up my tumblr for lent, because so many posts on here remind me of him
...
"where are you now?"
Where are you now? Cause I’m thinking of you You showed me how, how to live like I do If it wasnt for you I would never be who I am. And I’ll never see those days again And things will never be that way again But thats just how it goes, People change, But I know I wont forget you To the ones who cared And who were there from the start To the love that left and took a piece of my heart...
you ended it...
you ended our relationship on our alternate facebook…
wow…
and because I’m stupid it actually kind of hurts that you did that, I mean, I know we aren’t together, I know we will never be, but somehow being on a relationship on that account gave me some kind of hope… I guess there is no hope… I guess I will never see or hear from you again and because of that my...
"but most of all I like liking you"
I decide to compile a list of everything that remind me of you, here I go:
river street, fun dip, gum balls, sushi, pokemon, buizel, shiny sneasel, smurfs, thanksgiving parade, ketchup, tybee, the last song, bolt, high school musical 3, nobody’s perfect, smoothies from that place in the mall, cookie cake, game stop, toys r us, pokemon cards, holographic black charizard, lion king, pirates...
"and never knowing, what could have been"
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house That don’t bother me I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while Even though going on with you gone still upsets me There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok But that’s not what gets me What hurts the most Was being so close And having so much to say And...
wondering...
I don’t know why I started wondering this, but I just always assumed the next time you would be back in Savannah would be this summer… but there is the chance you will be back for spring break..
of course most likely I won’t get to see you…
but it’s nice knowing you are close by if I did want to see you
and that there is the chance I could run into you somewhere in...
"every word you say I think I should write down,...
“I’ve been this way with so many before, but this feels like the first time”
Last weekend was one of the most fun weekend I have had in recent months. I already talked about Friday, but never got the chance to write about the rest of my weekend.
On Saturday Adell and I went and ate at Moe’s for lunch (our tradition) but while we were waiting for someone to meet us there...
"and I can't breathe without you , but I have to"
Last night I had yet another dream about you…
I can’t remember too many details besides me wanting to drive you home by myself, but my friend didn’t want me to because she knew how I felt about you and didn’t think it was a good idea for us to be alone together.
I think we may have hugged in the dream, I can’t really remember, but you weren’t totally ignoring me...
"when the waves are flooding the shore and I can't...
… that’s when I, I, I look at you”
Last night I had a dream about you
which I often do
In the dream we were in an english class, but I couldn’t tell if it was for high school or college. You were sitting in front of me facing me because the desks were arranged in little groups. The teacher was a guy and he was writing sentences on the board and people had to raise their...
"if you lose a moment, you might lose a lot, so...
Today I…
Ate lunch with my roommates
Drove up to GA Southern in the rain
Arrived after TomTom took me some weird route
Hung out with Adell and Haileigh
Ate dinner with Adell and friends
Saw “Law Abiding Citizen” which was good and terribly freaky in some parts
Went to walmart
Tried to see Dear John, but failed
Instead hung out with Adell’s brother and his friends at their...
"what happened to the promises you made?, you...
Today I…
went to my 8am drawing class
came back to the room and procrastinated all afternoon until my 5 pm english class
which was at the library today and it only lasted an hour and a half when usually it’s 2 and a half hours
ate at scafe for dinner
worked out with nika (for emotional support, I’m not much one to work out)
played scattergories (which I won) and High...
“maybe you were all faster than me, we gave each other up so easily, these silly...”
– Vanessa Carlton
"only problem is, gee whiz, I'm dreamin' my life...
Last night I had a dream about you…
this is quite a regular occurrence…
and always in these dreams things are pretty much the same as they are right now:
you somewhat avoid me or make things awkward between us
but last night even though at first you ignored me you came back
and held me and kissed my head
and told me I would never lose you
too bad dreams are just that: dreams
...
"and it's funny how you find you enjoy your life...
Today was an okay day
I…
slept in until 11
wrote a paper on Walt Disney
gave a presentation on Walt Disney and how he used color in Color Theory class..
this was after 2 other guys had done presentations on Walt Disney too…
one of them I think chose Walt Disney as his topic to spite me
or try and prove that he knew more about Disney than me…
fail, you can pretend to know...
“And suddenly I become a part of your past, I’m becoming the part that...”
– The Fray
"I just want you to know, that I've been fighting...
somedays I make it through, and then there’s night’s that never end. I wish that I could believe that there’s a day you’ll come back to me, but still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know”
- Backstreet Boys
My friend is right… you don’t care or at this point even know if I do stupid things…
there is no point in being...
"yesterday, is now quite what it could have been,...
Today I…
woke up at 7
went to Drawing class that started at 8
drew
came back to the room
ate at scafe with my roommates
went to Target with Kaylee and bought Nick Jonas’ new album “Who I Am”
listened to it in the car on the way back to the dorm
parked and ran back to the dorm because we were late for Nick’s live chat
only to find out it hadn’t started...
what if...
what if someday I think I’m over you
I find a new guy
I fall in love
I decide I want to marry him
I don’t think about you every second of every day
BUT THEN!
I run into you
or see that you are engaged
or married
and all the feelings come flooding back
and I’m jealous
and hurt
and realize that I still want to be with you
and I’m just settling for the guy...
ckatep23, ashleyfidget, & blua,
typicaldez:
thanks so much for following! you guys are pretty awesome. =)
Desiree it’s meeeee!
Kate Paul, I had to get a new tumblr because of certain people…
blahhh
knowing that you may come across this blog someday will keep me writing
because I don’t update my old tumblr, my twitter is now private, and my facebook statuses are always happy…
I am a happy person, but a certain sadness comes from knowing you aren’t in my life anymore… a certain sadness you probably think I don’t have because of my happy Disney College Program...